Understanding Relationship OCD and How Therapy Can Help

Relationships can bring so much joy and connection. But for some, love can also bring relentless doubt—a voice in your head whispering, “Are you sure? What if this isn’t right?”

That’s not just normal worry—it might be relationship OCD.

At Abri Psychotherapy, we understand how relationship OCD can overshadow even the most loving partnerships. Let’s walk through what relationship OCD really looks like, how it’s different from normal relationship worries, and how therapy—especially Radically Open DBT (RODBT)—can help you find calm, clarity, and trust.

What Is ROCD?

Relationship OCD, also known as ROCD, is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder that focuses on doubts about your relationship. These aren’t fleeting worries—they’re intrusive, repetitive, and can feel impossible to turn off.

You might find yourself thinking: “Do I really love my partner?” or “What if there’s someone better out there?” No matter how often you reassure yourself—or how much evidence you find that everything’s okay—these thoughts keep coming back.

To learn more about how these intrusive thoughts and behaviors can feel, Verywell Mind has a great resource on relationship OCD.

They share helpful insights on how ROCD can show up in different relationships.

Symptoms vs. Normal Doubts

Almost everyone has moments of doubt in a relationship—it’s part of being human. But how can you tell the difference between normal doubts and relationship OCD?

Normal Doubts

You occasionally wonder, “Is this the right fit for me?”
These thoughts come and go, and they don’t take over your day.
Talking them through with your partner helps.

ROCD Symptoms

Doubts feel urgent, constant, and out of your control.
You might compare your partner to others endlessly.
You look for reassurance—asking friends, checking social media—over and over.
The thoughts make you feel more disconnected, not closer.

If you’d like more detail on these differences, Health.com breaks down what ROCD really looks like and how it can take over your mind and heart.

CBT and ERP for Relationship OCD

For many people, relationship OCD is treated with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). These approaches are proven to help by:

Facing the fears directly (exposure)
Resisting the urge to find endless reassurance (response prevention)

By practicing these skills in therapy, you can learn that you don’t have to be 100% sure to have a loving, meaningful connection.

You can still build trust—even in the face of uncertainty.

The Role of RODBT in ROCD

At Abri Psychotherapy, we also use Radically Open DBT (RODBT) in treating relationship OCD. Why? Because people with ROCD often have strong self-control and perfectionistic tendencies. You might be great at holding it together—but underneath, you’re stuck in rigid thinking and fear of making mistakes.

RODBT helps by:

Teaching you to open up emotionally—so you can connect with your partner without endless second-guessing.
Encouraging flexibility—helping you see there’s no one “perfect” answer in love.
Building self-compassion—letting you hold yourself with kindness, even when your brain tells you to doubt.

When combined with CBT and ERP, RODBT creates a powerful path forward—one where you can feel safe in your relationship, even when your mind tries to stir up fear.

Q&A: Your Questions About Relationship OCD

What is relationship OCD?

It’s a form of OCD that focuses on intrusive, distressing doubts about your partner or relationship. Unlike normal worries, these thoughts feel stuck and take up a lot of mental space.

How do I know if it’s ROCD or real doubt?

Normal doubts tend to pass once you talk them out or reflect. With relationship OCD, the thoughts are persistent, driven by anxiety, and don’t go away even when you find reassurance.

What triggers relationship OCD?

Things like seeing “perfect” couples online, big relationship milestones, or moments of stress and change can all trigger relationship OCD. Often, it’s less about what’s happening outside and more about your own fears and expectations.

Can therapy help with relationship OCD?

Yes! CBT and ERP are effective treatments for relationship OCD—and RODBT can help if you’re stuck in overthinking and self-criticism. Together, they can teach you to navigate your fears and build a relationship rooted in trust, not anxiety.

Final Thoughts: Finding Balance in Love

If you’re feeling lost in your thoughts about your relationship, remember: you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. Relationship OCD can be overwhelming, but it’s also treatable.

At Abri Psychotherapy, we combine the best of CBT, ERP, and RODBT to help you move through your fears, reconnect to your partner, and feel more at home in your own heart. You deserve a love that feels real and grounded—not one weighed down by endless doubt.

Ready to explore how therapy can help? Reach out to us today. Let’s find a path to peace, connection, and a love that feels like yours.