Reclaiming Intuitive Eating Identity in Recovery

In a culture obsessed with clean eating, calorie tracking, and body “optimization,” the idea of intuitive eating can feel like a radical act. For those in recovery from disordered eating or chronic dieting, letting go of food rules and returning to your body’s inner wisdom may sound like freedom—but it can also feel terrifying.

Many people approach recovery with the same mindset that fueled their disorder: tightly controlled, perfectionistic, and hypervigilant. In other words, they try to do recovery “right.” But here’s the paradox—true healing requires relinquishing the very rigidity that once felt like safety.

This is where Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO DBT) enters the picture. Unlike traditional models that focus primarily on behavior change, RO DBT addresses the temperament behind the behaviors—especially overcontrol, emotional inhibition, and a deep fear of vulnerability. In the context of intuitive eating, RO DBT offers a compassionate, evidence-based path for those who struggle to surrender control without losing themselves.

This blog explores how intuitive eating and RO DBT work together to help you reclaim your identity, break free from the food tracking mindset, and reconnect with your body, your relationships, and your joy.

The Food Journal Mentality: Control Disguised as Healing

Let’s be honest: in many treatment and wellness spaces, tracking becomes a socially sanctioned form of control. Whether it’s journaling every bite, logging hunger levels, or using a color-coded app to “monitor progress,” these tools often reinforce the belief that the only path to safety is through self-surveillance.

If you’ve ever:

Turned intuitive eating into a checklist (“Did I honor my hunger today?”),
Judged your worth by how “in tune” you were with your body,
Replaced one set of food rules with another (“I only eat when hungry”),

…then you may be stuck in what RO DBT would call overcontrolled coping.

Overcontrol isn’t about being “too disciplined”—it’s a complex, deeply rooted strategy to manage anxiety, shame, and a desire for connection. It can masquerade as health, recovery, and even intuition.

But you are not a food journal. You are not a project to fix. You are not data to collect.

What Is Intuitive Eating—Really?

Intuitive eating is often misunderstood as simply “eating whatever you want.” In truth, it’s a dynamic process of attuning to your body’s cues, honoring your emotional needs, and trusting yourself to make decisions about food without external rules.

Developed by dietitians Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, intuitive eating rests on 10 principles including:

Rejecting the diet mentality
Honoring hunger and fullness
Making peace with food
Respecting your body
Coping with emotions without using food

But here’s where many hit a roadblock: intuitive eating asks for trust, flexibility, and vulnerability. And for people with overcontrolled tendencies—especially those drawn to food tracking, orthorexia, or perfectionistic recovery—these are not easy asks.

This is why many in recovery find themselves toggling between extremes: “I’m either in control or I’m out of control. I’m either tracking or I’m failing.” RO DBT helps dismantle that black-and-white thinking and builds the psychological flexibility required to truly live intuitively.

How Overcontrol Shows Up in Intuitive Eating

Overcontrol isn’t just about how you eat—it’s how you relate to uncertainty, imperfection, and the risk of rejection. In the context of intuitive eating, it might look like:

Feeling guilty for enjoying “fear foods”
Obsessively analyzing hunger cues
Comparing your intuitive eating “performance” to others
Creating rigid recovery routines that masquerade as freedom
Withdrawing socially because you’re unsure how to eat “intuitively” around others

You might even find yourself keeping a “mental food journal”—constantly reviewing what you ate, if it was “aligned” with your values, and what you’ll do differently tomorrow. This inner narrative can feel endless, exhausting, and deeply isolating.

RO DBT challenges these patterns not with confrontation, but with curiosity, playfulness, and radical openness.

RO DBT and the Path Back to Intuition

Unlike traditional DBT (which focuses on undercontrol, emotional volatility, and impulsivity), Radically Open DBT is designed for people who “keep it all in.” People who avoid vulnerability, value control over spontaneity, and struggle to relax their grip on routines—even in recovery.

Here’s how RO DBT supports the practice of intuitive eating:

1. Targeting Emotional Loneliness

At the heart of RO DBT is the concept of emotional loneliness—a painful sense of disconnection, even when you’re surrounded by people. Food tracking and rigid eating patterns often serve as a substitute for emotional connection: “If I can’t control the world, at least I can control this.”

RO DBT teaches clients how to signal openness, build authentic relationships, and reduce social signaling deficits. Eating becomes less about control and more about community, pleasure, and spontaneity.

2. Practicing Self-Enquiry

RO DBT invites clients to engage in self-enquiry—a compassionate, curious examination of their inner experience. Instead of judging your hunger, fullness, or cravings, you learn to ask:

“What is there to learn from this emotion?”
“What belief is driving my food choice?”
“Am I seeking safety, control, or connection?”

This lens transforms food choices from moral judgments into opportunities for growth and understanding.

3. Strengthening Flexibility Over Control

Rigid food rules are often a response to a world that feels unpredictable. But healing doesn’t come from mastering more rules—it comes from learning to bend without breaking.

RO DBT helps clients practice flexibility in controlled doses. That might mean:

Eating something unplanned without compensating
Saying “yes” to a spontaneous dinner invitation
Letting go of “perfect” food choices and embracing “good enough”

Each act of willingness reinforces the idea that you can survive discomfort—and even discover joy on the other side of it.

4. Reclaiming Identity Beyond the Disorder

When you spend years living by food journals, your identity shrinks. RO DBT supports the development of self-directed values—a sense of who you are beyond what you eat, weigh, or achieve.

This might include:

Reconnecting with interests that have nothing to do with food
Cultivating play and experimentation
Taking relational risks (e.g., expressing needs, asking for help)

Intuitive eating becomes not just a way of nourishing your body, but a way of reclaiming your voice, your preferences, and your aliveness.

What “Reclaiming Intuition” Really Means

Reclaiming intuition is not about becoming a flawless intuitive eater. It’s not about mastering another set of principles. It’s about unlearning the belief that your body is untrustworthy and that your worth depends on discipline.

Intuition is messy. It evolves. It contradicts itself. Some days it’s loud, other days it’s quiet. And RO DBT teaches you how to listen even when the message is unclear.

It also helps you tolerate the anxiety that arises when you stop tracking, the shame that surfaces when you feel “too much,” and the grief of lost time spent in self-monitoring.

Recovery is not linear—and intuitive eating doesn’t need to be either. What matters is the relationship you’re building with yourself along the way.

You Are Not a Food Journal

If no one has told you this lately: you are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to eat for pleasure. You are allowed to be inconsistent, emotional, spontaneous, contradictory, and human.

You are not a food journal. You are not a recovery spreadsheet. You are not your macros, your hunger rating, or your last meal.

You are a full, complex, beautifully imperfect person—capable of change, connection, and deep self-trust.

Final Thoughts: A Different Kind of Support

At Abri Radically Open DBT, we work with individuals who have tried “doing recovery right” but still feel stuck. Our clients are often high-functioning, high-achieving, and exhausted. They want freedom but fear what happens without rules.

We get it. And we’re here to help you write a different story—one that’s built on trust, openness, and real connection.

Ready to Let Go of Food Journals and Reclaim Your Life?

If this blog resonates with you—if you’re ready to stop managing recovery like a to-do list and start living intuitively—we invite you to reach out.

At Abri, our specialty in Radically Open DBT helps people move from emotional isolation and overcontrol to connection, joy, and true self-expression.

Book a consultation today and discover what it means to reclaim your intuition, your identity, and your life.